these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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