why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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