I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
