Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
