I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
