if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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