dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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