I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
