Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
