"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
