i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
