I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
