is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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