Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Randomize
