Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
