Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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