We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
