I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I see more hoeing in ur future
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