i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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