I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
