so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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