Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
