what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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