on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drake has all the answers
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
