I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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