we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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