I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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