When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
