i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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