I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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