Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
