I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
