Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
