if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
