i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
