pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
