Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
