I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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