Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
