Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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