He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
