Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
