I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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