Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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