dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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