Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
