And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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