There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
