wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
