so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you had me at cake vodka
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
